| A little lightweight lip service to get me through the night |
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[23 Jul 2006|01:42am] |
New LJ.
I've had this LJ for 4 years.. maybe even more.. lol I think its time to retire the name.. Because.. I'm no longer this.
I've grown up writing in this LJ.. and now that Im no longer growing as a struggling teen.. I am now.. an adult.. and this deserves a New LJ... So.. for anyone who care to add me.. the new Lj name is
Trampazfuk.
Yeah the name says it all..
To a new Chapter.. Cheers!
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[22 Jul 2006|08:07am] |
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I woke up this morning.. and walked out into the kitchen to see a table set for two.. and realized that it was from last night...
The table was set for the both of us... and I couldn't help but start to cry again..
I thought the tears were over.. but they wont be... this is a forever... feeling...
This is forever.. this unhappiness is forever...
I wont be able to think about him without crying.. everyday of my life..
I dont know how to stop thinking about him.. because.. I dont want another guy... I dont want to be held by any other guy...
I dont want to hear another guy tell me he loves me..
I picked who I wanted for the rest of my life...
and he didn't pick me back...
So... I live my life alone.. like.. I knew I would.....
and I'll die alone...
Like I was afraid I would....
maybe I'm already dead....
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[20 Jul 2006|06:16am] |
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Is it so hard to ask to be appreciated? or remembered ?
Is it so much to ask for an hour out of your entire day?
Is it so much to want to talk to you? and Do you always have to shoot me down?
Is it so much to want to know you would rather talk to me then do anything else? and even if you would rather do something else, bare it and make me believe you wouldn't?
Is it so hard to ask you to do nice things for me?
Is it so hard to do them without me asking? just because you know it makes me happy.
But I guess it is too much... so.. I'll be content with whatever I can get. So....
Thank you. Your a complete disappointment.
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Happiness is a fleeting emotion I am finally use to waving to when it comes and just as quickly goes.
Guess things just can't be forever.
Love Lots
<3 Gizzy <3
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[18 Jul 2006|10:03pm] |
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I cried for the first time..
Not for anger or saddness.. because I alwys cry for that..
But for happiness... I never remember once before crying because I was happy...
and I still can't keep this smile.. or these tears.. off my face
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[18 Jul 2006|07:19pm] |
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 pissed off |
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Im really freaking angry.. Im going to kill someone..
I tell caution to all those that talk to me for the next few days..
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[17 Jul 2006|09:21pm] |
Which Girl Are You?
**Last time my heart broke...I said I was through and believed it to be true. Yet you walked through that door and your eyes met mine and I knew you were worth loving just one more time!
**I will hide my broken heart beneath a smiling face and though you think I never cared no one can take your place!
**Forget the times he walked by.Forget the times he made you cry.Forget the times he spoke your name.Remember now it's not the same.Forget the times he held your hand.Forget the sweet things if you can.Forget the times, now don't pretend.Remember now he's not even a friend!
**When I met you...I was afraid to like you.When I liked you...I was afraid to kiss you.When I kissed you...I was afraid to love you.Now that I love you...I was afraid to lose you...But it's too late I already did!
**A kiss is a kiss until you find the one you love.A hug is a hug until it's the one you're thinking of. A dream is a dream until it comes true.LOVE IS A WORD UNTIL PROVEN TO YOU!
**Nothing is more painful then realizing he meant everything to you but, you meant nothing to him!
**I'm holding on to something that use to be there hoping it will come back but knowing it won't!
**Never say always if you don't care. Never talk about feelings if they aren't there.Never hold my hand if you're gonna break my heart.Never say you love me if you don't plan to start.Never look into my eyes if all you do is lie.Never say hello if you really mean good-bye!
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Why am I So many of them>
Hmprh
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[17 Jul 2006|01:11am] |
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Admired for your style and fresh approach to life, you are the Japanese femme fatale! Deceivingly innocent, you are actually a devil in disguise. You love to show off, but behind that flamboyant and sometimes uncaring personality, you definately care for and stand up for your friends. Just one flaw, you can be annoyingly hyper and bouncy!! However this can be just what a friend needs after a boring day.
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| Which Soul Calibur character are you? |
| this quiz was made by david park |
Yeah.. sounds like me lmao.. anywho...
I got back from the Keys today!.. i am so burnt!.. I'll have pictures up.. it was so much fun
8 months with Chris... yes... its been sometimes.. and Im actually trying to work things out... amazing eh? Me.. trying to work things out... its an accomplishment...
although it feels one sided.. =/....
atleast IM trying.. he can't say Im not..... he's just sucha party popper.. god.. can't be happy around him or your like the most annoying thing ever.. gawd..
He's got a bug permenantly stuck in his ass.
and getting WoW just made him even worse and more bitchy.. he's a bigger girl then I am.. which is sad...
Ah... putting up with bitching and moaning is such a drainer... going to bed
Sayonara! ;]
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[14 Jul 2006|06:56pm] |
Annotating project interrupted to bring you the latest crisis.....
OMFG I DIDN"T PASS THE AP!!!!!
Okay I did.. i got a three.. but I already have credit for English one... FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
i needed a four for english two.. IM SO FUCKING MAD AT MYSELF!!!!!!.. Ugh... Im going to cry...
and I found out Danny picked up his yearbook..
And.. none of his layouts we're included... and.. for some strange reason.. I felt like crying at that thought.. all his hard work.. all the time he put into them.. was thrown out because Andrea wanted something different.. something dull.. Something lifeless.. his were filled with life.. and excitement..... And... I just feel so horrible..
My layouts were included though.. but it was kind of... empty.... without Danny's work.. I didn't feel.. it was worth all the effort.. I kind of did it for him.. I joined the yearbook team because of him...
*sighs* I'm just happy Highschools over.
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[14 Jul 2006|06:47am] |
Brown Penny
I whispered, 'I am too young,'
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.'
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.
O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.
William Butler Yeats
After hearing this poem on Must Love Dogs.... I figured.. I needed to.. "dissect". Ah Mrs. Singer has her claws in me still! That woman will have me annotating my whole LIFE away. So.. Next post will be my full interpretation, literally and figuratively. =/
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[13 Jul 2006|10:56pm] |
"Don't you know your sins will earn you a place in hell for all time? Don't you know that the red-hot pokered Devil himself will take his pleasure with you, time after time through enternity, until you scream and Beg for mercy, to no avail? Don't you realize that you and your kind are the slime of Creation? Slime you are and slime you will be, time until end, unless you embrace Christ and beg His Forgiveness now. Now! Do you hear me, harlot? Get on your knees and beg Christ's forgiveness now!"- Brother Thomas.
That was a hot speech.. which.. honored a lovely retort.
"I curse you, Friar Thomas. One day one of my sisters will seize your soul and condemn you to hell for enternity! I damn you with the curse of the whore, Thomas!...One day... and soon, I pray to the Virgin Mary, a whore will steal your soul...Nay! You will offer it to her on a platter! You will over her your eternal damnation in return for her love!" - Random Whore
Omg.. hot right?
It's From the Crucible Series by Sarah Douglass, The Nameless Day
Pretty awesome.. I love her stories and her style of writing.. pretty outrageous. =) Check her out.. muahz!
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[12 Jul 2006|10:40pm] |
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I'M BORED!
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[12 Jul 2006|09:30pm] |
( El beso del final )
Okay.. love that song.. for all time..=X
Anywho...
Things are okay.. Im rather elated....
I'm still waiting for college to start urgh.. I need something to take up my time *sighs*
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[12 Jul 2006|12:32am] |
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I write sins not tragedies |
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Me: I want him to forgive me..
Me: but I realize i've been screwing up alot..
Ana: did you tell him that?
Me: No..
Me: I played hardass..
Me: I probably should..
Me: but I know his answer.. "I can't forgive you Giselle"
Me: because he doesn't forgive me for anything I do..
Me: he keeps it like a trophy to remember!
Me: So he always knows where I've hit him the most..
Me: so he can close that off to me..
Ana: man
Me: In the end.. I've become more open and him more closed off..
Me: he's afraid to let me hurt him..
Me: he's afraid if given the chance I will..
Me: but I dont want to hurt him..
Me: but.. my word means nothing..
Me: it means "shit" to him
Me: I know what I should do
Me: "let go and let god"
Ana: yeah its his choice
Ana: you dont want to be with someone that doesnt want to be with you
Me: but.. I have a feeling Gods going to pull us apart..
Ana: you dont
Me: I know i dont
So Im a screw up in the end.
Thanks for everything though <3
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[10 Jul 2006|10:48pm] |
Okay I have horrible back aches.. arg... I need.. desperately... for someone to come over... and beat my back...
I need the kinks worked out.. ugh!...
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You got your head phones and your dancing.
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I love.. sexy men... one sexy man in particular..I'd rather not mention his name..
People read my Livejournal.. and his name in the hands of the wrong kind.. could be disasterous!
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It's in the ABC's of growing up, Now now darling, oh dont lose your head, cause none of us were angels and you know I love you yet.
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I finished reading Kindred by Octavia Butler thanks to my friend Diane For showing it to me at Night school.. I kinda miss my night school buds..
I saw Diane over the summer one day at dolphin.. she's as cute as ever...
I also saw Anna Somarriba!.. lmao.. funny ass last name I cant spell.. sounded like..
Suve arriba... or the spanish saying for get up there.... which i dont know how to spell....
Great I'm a horrible hispanic.... the saddest part I went to night school for spanish =/
I miss going to Night school and getting to see Chris at night.. or skipping with him and Drew to go eat cra till night school was over... or spending the afternoons with Chris in his car.. that was fun.. if not... explicit.. haha..
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I am in love with you babe if just for the moment
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Oh.. and my mother asked me if Chris and I are seeing each other again because I've asked him if he would enjoy a dip in my ghetto inflatable pool.
I just have no one else to ask.. no one will come and see me in the middle of nowhere I call the location of my home. Gross.
I can't have a guy friend?
Shut up Chris dont you even say a thing! (just incase he read this you know?)
Anyways.. that was refreshing.. *nervous laughter* Right.. anyways moving along...
Adeiu!
Love Lots
<3 Gizzy <3
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[10 Jul 2006|12:07am] |
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Clear the Area_Imogen Heap |
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Thank you... Forever.
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[08 Jul 2006|02:11pm] |
Your Seduction Style: Au Natural
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You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.
You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?
You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.
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I think its true.. what about you?
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[08 Jul 2006|01:22pm] |
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Everytime we touch _ Cascada |
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Passionate kisses make me laugh
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Tension builds as she looks anywhere but the eyes of the boy sitting across from her, telling a story of no significance. Her hands wring slightly as he watches her intently with these eyes that burrow with certainty that he would rather not listen to her tell this story. The story is trivial compared to what lies between them, the words neither of them will say. His smile grows cocky as he enjoys her nervous behavior as her eyes flutter and her story comes to nervous pauses in places it shouldn't as she tries her hardest to recover the details of the night. It's a vain struggle for her as her mind wanders to the same words that lie between them and she realizes excatly what it is he wants.
This causes the tension to grow taut and almost shatteredable withone touch. Her story runs dry mid sentence with her story only half told as her eyes dance reluctantly from the wall to meet his intense gaze. She doesn't wish to give him anymore pleasure of her fragility and she holds his stare as the slow words are ushered from her mouth " You really don't want to hear this story do you?" The boy relaxes into his seat and his tongue runs suredly across his teeth as he speaks "Your not telling me everything, What happened between you and that guy?" he questions her with feirce eyes as she reassures him nothing happened between her and the guy. " Just friends and nothing more" she continues before being interrupted "Something happened between you and him I know it, your not telling me" he retorts and she begs for him to believe her that nothing happened and just as quickly as this conversation come to false conclusions she hears the words " Oh fuck this" barely come from the boy as his lips pressed roughly against her own.
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There is truth and lies in this kiss. A passion and fervor that blinds even the certain of minds. It was implusive... and it was filled with a need to be complete.. to be close.. to be exactly what each of them needed at that exact moment.
And it made me laugh because.. its a fairytale... I wish would come true more often.
<3
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